Friday Five « Specsappeal

“They’re like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra.”–Venture Brothers

1. Today, a client came in with a stack of tax notices. He handed them to me while saying, “I received more fan mail from the IRS.”

It was the best response to auditing that I’ve heard to date.

2. After seeing more results in 2 weeks with a trainer than I have for 7 […]

“Nothing makes a woman feel more like a girl than a man who sings like a boy.”–Pitch Perfect

1. I’ve now survived two sessions with my personal trainer. I think I may scare her. Everything was going well until she pulled out this huge exercise ball. She laid on her back, put the ball between her feet, and folded in half. Then, she — well I don’t know what she did next. It […]

“New Zealand is releasing Hobbit themed coins that are legal tender. And the metal used to mint them is…precious.” — Stephen Colbert

1. This week is going to be the death of me! The first part of this week both my boss and the office manager were out sick with the flu. There are only four of us in the office, and the fourth one has only been there a short time. We have a huge deadline […]

All I want for my birthday is a big booty girl

The title is the radio edit version of the lyrics, because I like my big booty ladies to be classy.

1. I am home! It’s so nice to be back, especially since my sister cleaned my apartment while I was gone. Although, I could do without her JUDGEMENT. She said, “I dusted your bedroom. Although […]

“Ain’t no party like a Time Lord party because a Time Lord party is not bound by typical temporal parameters and thus cannot stop.”–Janna G.

1. “If it’s after 3am wearing anything more than a wife beater is being overdressed.” –Ben Well, excuse me because I completely put on on airs at Fuel City at 3:30am. We left on Friday evening after work, and drove straight through without stopping for 17+ hours. I’ve driven that long before so that wasn’t […]

“IMA CALL THA NEW IPHONE THA CRYPHONE CAUSE THATS WHAT MY SON GONNA DO WHEN HE HAS 2 EAT DOG FOOD 4 A WEEK SO I CAN AFFORD IT” — Skweezy

1. So, I finished the series I mentioned in the last Friday Five and I survived the accompanying depression by immediately rebounding into a new novel. I’m not ashamed to say that I chose this one purely for the cover. It’s ADORABLE.

Thankfully, it’s also a pretty hilarious and an engaging […]

“I sometimes feel brave until I see a slightly above average size moth.”– Alec Sulkin

1. For the third year in a row, we attended the Indie Craft Parade. Where the admission is free if you don’t count the emotional toll of being around so many hipsters.

This year I bought a beautiful art print by a local artist, Cory Godbey. I tried to find it on his website but […]

“When Akon sings, ‘I’m tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful.’ I feel like he won’t be able to do it.”–Kelly Oxford

I have not been able to find five things in the past YEAR to blog. (But don’t take that personally. Like all things with this website it’s not about you it’s about ME.) Obviously, the next logical step is to create a new goal to write about five things each week. And I’m going to […]